i want to cut until i feel my wonderful blood, get so drunk that i cant breathe, smoke until i pass out, and make out with the next guy that will inevitably fuck me over. "but you cant do those things, they wont make you feel better." yes they will, but i dont have anyting left. i have nothing to make me feel better.

the thing is, no guy can fuck me over anymore. my hearts not in it. im no longer going to blow up a guys phone, or awkwardly inadvert my eyes when i see you after we make out. i dont care any more. no one can bring me down because my hearts not in it. my hearts in a steel box, encased with cement and wrapped in barbed wire, pricking anyone that tries to come near. i am officially cold hearted again, as my mother so loves to tell me.