i deserve to be loved.
i will refrain from thinking that im too much, too much to handle, too much to be cared for, too much stress and not worth any of it.
i will refrain from being jaded.
i will refrain from thinking that you read my entries, shaking your head in incredulous disbelief, wondering how i got so lost and wondering if ill ever pull my head up, ignorantly thinking that im in a spell and dont know what im talking about when i speak/write/dream of him.
i will refrain from being anti-love, -relationships,-caring, -tenderness, -dreaming, -wishing, -hoping that someday itll all make sense.
i will love myself.
i deserve for good things to happen to me.
i will recapture my youthful glow, and retain what ive learn which will turn into wisdom.
i will refrain from looking for your face in the crowds.
i will open myself to possibilities of one day being more than just a cute girl in a bar, a good score, a great feel good feeling in your happy spot, a "dude i just got that hot chicks number", a dirty text messager.
i will figure out why i get a sense of power when a man confesses that he wants to "fuck [me] more than [hes] ever wanted to fuck anybody in [his] entire life".
i will refrain from getting my self esteem from other peoples compliments.
i will refrain from being satisfied with a "c" on a test.
i will refrain from feeling that im being judged every single second.
i will refrain from holding on.
i deserve good things to happen to me.
i deserve to be loved.
i deserve to be loved.
i deserve to be loved.
i deserve to be loved.