i went through and deleted all my posts that had to do with loving aaron, being hurt over aaron or anything to do with him. that part of me is dead and gone. ill always remember because our history is written on my arm, but it is unneccessary and unproductive to read or remember those things. i was only inspired to write through my depression, it was never anything happy. gerard says he worries that im not happy. "thats silly, im the happiest ive ever been." and the truth rang in my ears. i am so happy. it all gets to be too much sometimes, a little dizzying. things havent been perfect the past 6 months. weve had some tough spots. but it has brought us closer i think. hes not perfect, but hes perfect for me. when i was reading my old blogs just a minute ago, i found the one about the psyc ward. it gave me chills and i teared up. my poor family. im not happy how everything happened, but im glad that it did because it put me where im at today with the relationships i have around me. katie, ty, my mom, my dad, gerard. im just so happy with how everything is going. its going really great. im really confident in everything thats happening in my life. forensics looks promising so im happy about that too. its time for sleep, but all of that just needed to be done. godspeed, all.